Fears - Part 1

 

Three months after Temi asked me every day, “Have you considered coming with me to our monthly hangouts?”I conceded to her idea one Sunday evening over dinner. 

The kitchen steamed in hot air from a boiling pot of chicken I got from Pa Chizo's Cold room along with Jani. Temi sat at the dining table reading from her tab. Whenever one of us cooked, the other sat nearby to show support. 

“I'll go with you for this month's hangout, Yemi”

She sat up, wide-eyed, a smirk on her face.

I smiled. A wry smile and then turned to watch the boiling of the chicken lumps on the gas cooker for stew. The usual stew that makes Temi happy every week because she could easily boil white rice or tubers for work with the hope of stew in the freezer.

The monthly hangout is held on a Saturday. The venue was at Soteria Gardens in Marina on Lagos Island, South West Nigeria.  Our house was a two-bedroom flat that sat on the hillside of Magodo on the Mainland and I suddenly had cold feet about attending. 

I was still in my undershirt when Temi strolled into my room to borrow my purple lipstick.

Such a beautiful gown you have here, Kosi. 

I watched her rasp words cheerily like my little cousin Nene whenever she's given a lollipop.

You need to hurry so that we can leave early, are you not going to try out the purple shoe, it should go with the shade of pink you want to wear. She said so many things at the same time. I smiled; as tired as I was, I knew she was excited to have me go with her so I let her talk as much as she wanted.

I did a quick makeover on my face and as the powder brush gently latched the powder from its bristles to my face, I wondered if Temi's hyped women's hangout would not open up wounds. 

I was the young Nigerian woman in her early thirties who threaded cautiously. I hated the stigma of being single. And even more, that of never being in a relationship with a man.

Tunde, my big-mouthed colleague at work said it was so sad that I had never been in a relationship before. It was a Friday evening, just before close of work, and we had been discussing climate change and environmental hazards, I don't remember how the discussion digressed to marriage and relationships. 

Nnenna supported Tunde because her spiritual mentor said any lady who has never had a serious suitor at 25 years has a demonic veil covering her face.

I just wanted to walk away.

And as I sat making up my face for Temi's hangout, I felt my heart begin to palpitate. I hoped there wasn't going to be any introduction. I hoped there weren't going to be vulture eyes waiting to devour me for not being under a man at 33. 

Temi strolled into the room, and seeing my fears in my eyes, laid her hands on my shoulders. 

She knew.

This won't be the same, Kosi. I promise.

I heaved. And then, a peaceful sigh.

“I hope so, Temi.”

The venue of the hangout was a floral garden on a hilly landscape thirty minutes away from our home. Two men sat on plastic chairs at the entrance of the garden popping open roasted groundnut shells and throwing the seeds into their mouths. They had left the gate open for cars to come in so that they didn't have to stand at small intervals to open it. 

“Temi the early bird!” Someone shouted immediately we got to our part of the garden for the hangout. The voice had come from behind.

Temi turned smiling. “ I knew that voice had to be yours,  John,” She said.

John was a tall, dark, and oval-faced young guy. “And who is this prettier face than yours, Temi?” he said, stretching his right hand for a handshake.

 I threw him a weak smile and took in his hand too.

“Oh, that's my friend and my flatmate,” Temi said. I saw his eyes widen into a broader smile but I couldn't smile more because my cheeks had started to hurt from a long smile.

 I wanted the greetings to be over already so that I could bask in my company alone before everyone came.  

There were only a few of us. Temi took me by the hand to a corner where we sat and waited for the others. 

John has gone off to get a rag to clean the seats. I went back to reading articles on Medium. Lately, I read a lot of articles on Medium in my spare time. I liked that it took me away from my surroundings for a while.

 Temi went to clean the seats with John too and I had my time to myself alone.

I wondered how they were all so cheerful like they had no worries digging up pits in their bellies. When I snapped out of my little thought, the article I had opened on Medium glared back at me from my phone screen, “The Psychology of Happiness.” 

When I saw Temi walk towards me, other people had arrived while I got lost in my thoughts and I knew the event would start in a few minutes and I would know if I should have followed Temi out of the house or not.

From: The Journey of a Waiting Girl Series

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