The Journey of a Waiting Girl - Priscilla's story - What time is it?
I raised my Kelvin watch and peered
into it for answers.
"The time is 6:30 pm,” I told her
cheerfully.
“The day is far spent”, I remarked. In
my naivety, I thought I was performing my social responsibility by telling her
the time but the time but the look on her face suggested otherwise.
"Not that time," she said
impatiently.
Confused if I had offended the
neighborhood spirits, I used my eyes to search her eyes for a cue.
"I meant your biological
clock."
Oh! I shuddered. That was the only
answer I could give in that grave moment.
"You have clocked thirty and yet
you don't have a man. See my daughter, do not be deceived that you are equal to
a man. A man may have all the time but not you. I know you are looking at your
achievements and degrees, but your biological clock is ticking, and it is not
waiting for you. What is a woman without a man? she said with her fingers
holding her ears for emphasis.
Willing for the needless sermon to
stop, “I will do something about it”, I answered.
"Better do something, my throat
is itchy, I want to drink your wine". Aunt Gogo said.
“Marriage will come when it comes, and
no level of desperation will pull the date forward” I can never forget this quote from one
of the books I bought on the shelves in London. I said to myself as I stood up
from where I was seated and proceeded to do other things to get my mind off the
conversation I just had with Aunt Gogo.
My mind flashed back to two weeks ago
when my friends; Shola and Bimpe, arranged a date for me. I was weak to my
knees as I wondered if my single state had gotten this bad. It is no longer
news that they mention my marital status in prayers and even invite me to
special programs where special prayers are offered for ladies desirous of
marriage and fruit of the womb. I cannot forget the time when I was forced to
go to church with Bimpe and after service, she dragged me to her pastor for
“special prayers” which thereafter resulted in my staying in the church for
three whole days praying for my husband to come and locate me. Not to mention
the countless testimonies they share and claim on my behalf about those who
miraculously met their husbands and married instantly. “Who does that?” I
always wove answers to understand their drama, but it is understandable that they
wanted their childhood friend married.
I could understand their religious
mentality considering that we are Africans, and everything made it to our
prayer list including restoration of power by PHCN, yet their setting up two
adults to go on dates, still puzzles me. They are keen on me marrying as soon
as possible and practically acted out Shola’s constant profession, "This
year is your year."
"Just give this date a trial,
" they chorused.
Shola has been married for five years,
and Bimpe two years.
Many questions crossed my mind, who is
the guy, what does he do? Where is he from? Where did you know him? what do you
know about him, etc.? Of Course, Shola and Bimpe already know me for asking
many questions and they just said, “You will find out, trust us”. Their
pleading eyes were what I couldn't say no to. Since it wasn't a crime, I
obliged.
Five days to finally going on the
exalted date, I got a text from an unknown number which reads “Hello dear
Priscilla, my name is Olaniyi and I will be meeting with you in five days”.
Sincerely, I did not know how to feel or how to even react after reading the
text. I left the message hanging for hours before I finally decided to give a
reply and we kick-started a conversation from there. It was not so much of a
serious conversation since we were meeting in five days. We decided where we
were meeting and immediately made a reservation for table number 5. We wrapped
up the conversation but did not exchange pictures of each other.
The next day, I went to a nearby store
that sold nice dresses and I was accompanied by Shola and Bimpe of course. They
helped me select a knee-length floral gown, simple yet classy, the appropriate
footwear, and other befitting accessories suitable for a first date. They
wanted me to enter his eye, in the local parlance as they had been
screaming.
I arrived at the venue, located the
seat number, and then signaled the waiter to get me water. After about ten
minutes a man in a green suit, red tie with yellow shoes that announced his
presence walked up to me. I smiled under my breath knowing I was in for a long
ride. We introduced ourselves and exchanged some pleasantries. In my head, I
was already ‘writing and penning down’ all the gist I was going to tell my
friends. I asked myself silently, “How would they lack knowledge in
picking out a man for me?”. There were so many things that I didn’t like about
him starting from his outfit, color combination, and heavy beard. I was
beginning to think they set me up cause what in the world is this?
We ordered food, and while digging
into it we went into the business of the moment. To my consternation, he talked
for eternity, boasting about his achievements and his money. His do's and
don'ts were as tall as mountain Kilimanjaro. In all the moments while he
talked, I seemed invisible. Beyond the red tie, I could see the red flags
screaming out. This was consolidated when he said, "Women are not supposed
to be vocal and everywhere, just focus on housekeeping”, I thought to myself,
this is the end of the road right here! What a prospective partner!
Traveling home for the festive season
is not exactly fun anymore, and every relative or elderly person I met
bugged me with a question: "Do you have a partner now?" I didn't know
if they rehearsed the question together or had a past question paper where they
got the question, but the exactness and spontaneity shocked me. The thought of
these subtle and direct pressure makes me want to reconsider if I am concluding
on Olaniyi so fast…
Imagine a partner like Olaniyi? I
relayed my experience to Shola and Bimpe. “I just turned thirty, not ninety, let
me be and find peace”.
“But you cannot see a perfect man”,
said Bimpe. “Right, none of us is perfect, however, there are non-negotiables.
Not every man will treat me wrong but Olaniyi is not my kind of man and I will
not settle with that”.
“I know you know what you want, but
there is wisdom in evaluating again if it is realistic”, said Sola.
Despite my explanations, they refused
to give up, as they said with determination on their faces, "Tomorrow we
go again".
Is Priscilla concluding too fast? Let's read your thoughts in the comment section.
From: The Journey of a Waiting Girl Series
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